they say, “pride comes before the fall.” i say, “i’ve learned this is true”
ever think you have something SO in the bag that you can’t lose. THEN you lose your focus, get sloppy and do the impossible, lose.
when you like to win, i think this is an easier one to break / keep yourself aware of. you suddenly realize that you must always be on your ‘a’ game, that nothing is guaranteed and that you are no different than the next guy trying to beat you to whatever success is for you. work hard always and period.
now, the second. this one is a doozy, at least for me.
the things we launch/create/birth/do come 100% from our core in most cases. if something seemingly fails or doesn’t go as well as expected, unfortunately there’s no one else to blame. it becomes this toxic, bitter cycle of guilt rearing its ugly head as you work to move forward. in other words, it’s quite difficult not to lump your whole self into this “failuredom”. THIS is something i have to work hard at every time i feel like i’ve failed; the harder of the two concepts, in my opinion…
mind games, deafening voices, heart sick, pulling it together. we’re only human, we forget.
if you have the opposite problem and the former is harder for you, write me below? i’d love a new perspective on this.
x
{failuredom}
image found on the w w w
Aug 20, 2014

they say,
“pride comes before the fall.”
i say,
“i’ve learned this is true”

ever think you have something SO in the bag that you can’t lose. THEN you lose your focus, get sloppy and do the impossible, lose.

when you like to win, i think this is an easier one to break / keep yourself aware of. you suddenly realize that you must always be on your ‘a’ game, that nothing is guaranteed and that you are no different than the next guy trying to beat you to whatever success is for you. work hard always and period.

now, the second. this one is a doozy, at least for me.

the things we launch/create/birth/do come 100% from our core in most cases. if something seemingly fails or doesn’t go as well as expected, unfortunately there’s no one else to blame. it becomes this toxic, bitter cycle of guilt rearing its ugly head as you work to move forward. in other words, it’s quite difficult not to lump your whole self into this “failuredom”. THIS is something i have to work hard at every time i feel like i’ve failed; the harder of the two concepts, in my opinion…

mind games,
deafening voices,
heart sick,
pulling it
together.
we’re only human,
we forget.

if you have the opposite problem and the former is harder for you, write me below? i’d love a new perspective on this.

x

{failuredom}

image found on the w w w

Aug 19, 2014

Loss.

As one of the most difficult things we experience in human life, I continually find myself drifting into an incredibly undefined space when confronted with the subject. Yesterday, I had the incredible honor of providing music for a funeral. While my job is to provide hope and comfort for the family and friends attending, I always find it incredibly difficult to separate myself. I must be emotional enough to put forth a moving “performance” & yet, checked out enough in order to actually do so. Even now, I’m still finding it difficult to describe this intense bottling of emotions — it is humbling, it is commanding, it is deafening and one can only hope that you can talk yourself through and then you do and then you sing. You sing to release everything you are feeling and hope that with this incredible honor you are able to move others as they have moved you. You are reminded that you are only in control of so much in this world and the rest, you must learn to let it carry you.

{thoughts on yesterday}

"I’m never more humbled and honored than when I’m asked to play a funeral. Today, that includes singing from behind a beautiful pipe organ in the ozark mountains."

— @alliexlauren via Instagram

// conversations with great-grandmother… //

she said
it seemed like
a lifetime ago
and it was.

seventy years prior
and the pain,
you hear it
in all she doesn’t say.

she was reviving the past
and yet, leaving out the poison
that could have cost her these present moments
if she’d never turned her back to hold her head high.

{mother x}

image found on the w w w
Aug 17, 2014 / 2 notes

// conversations with great-grandmother… //

she said
it seemed like
a lifetime ago
and it was.

seventy years prior
and the pain,
you hear it
in all she doesn’t say.

she was reviving the past
and yet, leaving out the poison
that could have cost her these present moments
if she’d never turned her back to hold her head high.

{mother x}

image found on the w w w

he looked
for the next big thing
as if it were rain,

as if it were to fall
from the heavens
into his itchy idle hands

and as he sat
a wise old man saw
and said,

"magic is something you make, magic is something you make."

{magic is something you make}

image found on the w w w
Aug 16, 2014 / 2 notes

he looked
for the next big thing
as if it were rain,

as if it were to fall
from the heavens
into his itchy idle hands

and as he sat
a wise old man saw
and said,

"magic is something you make, magic is something you make."

{magic is something you make}

image found on the w w w

and all of the sudden
she couldn’t go back
she couldn’t ‘unknow’
what she knew now

and the forgetting,
that was the torture
that was the root of it all
that was the beast
that reared its ugly head
that was the panic
that was the pain.

she’d tell herself,
“it is what it is” —
but behind her porcelain eyes,
it wasn’t.

{the forgetting}

image found on the w w w
Aug 15, 2014 / 2 notes

and all of the sudden
she couldn’t go back
she couldn’t ‘unknow’
what she knew now

and the forgetting,
that was the torture
that was the root of it all
that was the beast
that reared its ugly head
that was the panic
that was the pain.

she’d tell herself,
“it is what it is” —
but behind her porcelain eyes,
it wasn’t.

{the forgetting}

image found on the w w w

her mind is a labyrinth
and her soul is technicolor
an ocean of emotions
and thought
there is nothing
that brings her out of her mind
there is nothing that reels in the chaos,
but it is gorgeous and
it is found
when you look deeper
past the shell
that is too hardened
to let it all go.
{gorgeous chaos}
/// image found on the w w w ///
Aug 14, 2014

her mind is a labyrinth
and her soul is technicolor
an ocean of emotions
and thought
there is nothing
that brings her out of her mind
there is nothing that reels in the chaos,
but it is gorgeous and
it is found
when you look deeper
past the shell
that is too hardened
to let it all go.


{gorgeous chaos}

/// image found on the w w w ///


"When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time." — Maya Angelou

ever meet a girl bold enough to disrespect you in a room full of people? then…. your savvy mr. introduces you while you smile, say hello, watch her squirm standing next to her boyfriend… and wait. wait for karma, that is.
while i always feel mildly embarrassed at the level of frustration i feel for women who act inappropriately towards married men, i have no idea what else i’m supposed to do except find myself completely annoyed and yet, incredibly grateful for a husband who makes sure they quickly know who i am.
there are no excuses you women of the wild and the explanations you think are clever mean nothing to me. i married a man who thinks you’re just as awkward and unbecoming as i do.
thanks for the compliment, i know who i have and i know who you are.
{the list}
/// photo found on the w w w ///
Aug 13, 2014

"When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time." — Maya Angelou

ever meet a girl bold enough to disrespect you in a room full of people? then…. your savvy mr. introduces you while you smile, say hello, watch her squirm standing next to her boyfriend… and wait. wait for karma, that is.

while i always feel mildly embarrassed at the level of frustration i feel for women who act inappropriately towards married men, i have no idea what else i’m supposed to do except find myself completely annoyed and yet, incredibly grateful for a husband who makes sure they quickly know who i am.

there are no excuses you women of the wild and the explanations you think are clever mean nothing to me. i married a man who thinks you’re just as awkward and unbecoming as i do.

thanks for the compliment, i know who i have and i know who you are.

{the list}

/// photo found on the w w w ///

more than ever, i have learned that there will always be people who are confused by the person you are. there will always be those who can’t just accept you for who you are, but instead must question your every move in order to find a placement for you within their perspective. we all have perspectives — would it not be easier to accept that we all operate from our different perspectives instead of trying only to fit others into our own perspective? there will never a box for any of us to fit in, there will never be a circle, there will never be a file. unfortunately for some of us, the misfit stamp is a bit more obvious — we are a bit more awkward, we are a bit less fitting and we must stand up for each other. my only wish is that everyone else would just ask instead of talk.
Aug 12, 2014 / 2 notes

more than ever, i have learned that there will always be people who are confused by the person you are. there will always be those who can’t just accept you for who you are, but instead must question your every move in order to find a placement for you within their perspective. we all have perspectives — would it not be easier to accept that we all operate from our different perspectives instead of trying only to fit others into our own perspective? there will never a box for any of us to fit in, there will never be a circle, there will never be a file. unfortunately for some of us, the misfit stamp is a bit more obvious — we are a bit more awkward, we are a bit less fitting and we must stand up for each other. my only wish is that everyone else would just ask instead of talk.

Dec 11, 2013 / 4 notes

image

She has wings, but can she fly?

{wings}

Rebecca Horn (1972)

someone once told me stick to the middle and then head left but there’s art that needs creating so we’ll put our heads together and we’ll head left.
(so we’ll put our heads together and we’ll head left)
Aug 13, 2013

someone once told me
stick to the middle
and then head left
but there’s art that needs
creating
so we’ll put our heads together
and we’ll head left.

(so we’ll put our heads together and we’ll head left)